Google’s slop machine, Veo 3, is already firmly at the center of our brave new world of generative video, and it seems to have its sights trained on YouTube content in particular. There are Harry Potter vlogs, man-on-the-street content, unboxings, and now, the slop cannon is pointed straight at another pillar of YouTube, and this one has me ready to sign any anti-slop petition in sight. With the utmost regret, I present to you all: AI ASMR.

Guys I hate to say it but the AI ASMR is only getting better pic.twitter.com/q1DoZXWfLc

— Justine Moore (@venturetwins) June 24, 2025

As noted by Justine Moore, who has done a pretty solid job of cataloging the deluge of AI slop since Veo 3’s release, AI ASMR seems to be taking off, and there is nothing you or I can do about it. Watch in horror as people scoop into seemingly solid objects in an “Is It Cake?”-style “ASMR” video that’s generated specifically to be “oddly satisfying.” Not going to lie, I wish that ketchup bottle in the video above were my brain right now—I could probably use an AI lobotomy. Why, you may be asking, am I so offended by AI-generated ASMR after all I’ve seen in the harrowing and copyright-defying world of Veo 3 content? Well, for one, I actually watch ASMR, and not just for shits and giggles, okay? I watch ASMR when I can’t sleep, which is more than I would like to admit.

And sure, I’m open to AI helping me do lots of things in this world—ordering my Uber, summarizing long annoying emails, or, I don’t know, doing my dumb taxes—but I am not ready for the AI industrial complex to coo me to sleep like a big slimy meat baby in one of those pods from the Matrix. But as you may have already gathered, there is nothing sacred when it comes to video generation in its current permutation. Not world-renowned intellectual property, not a wholesale rejection from Hollywood actors, and certainly not the advertising industry, which is just short of frothing at the mouth over the prospect of using AI to generate the ads we have forcibly beamed into our eyeballs during primetime television. So, I guess that’s it then. I’ll ready myself for the big robot lullaby. Just do me a favor and wake me up when this high-speed train to Slopville makes its final stop—I’ve gotta go see about some squishy macarons.